


5 Times Alec Said “I Love You” First and One Time He Didn’t…

by MAD_luci



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 5 Times, Angst, Death, Demons, Fights, First Malec OS, Flirting, Fluff, Hurt, I Love You, I need to stop tagging, M/M, Malec, Nightmares, Save Shadowhunters, Teasing, There's a bit of a graphic violent scene in there, They're sooooooo in love, Trauma, a lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 22:58:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15205334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MAD_luci/pseuds/MAD_luci
Summary: Just what the title says ;)





	5 Times Alec Said “I Love You” First and One Time He Didn’t…

**Author's Note:**

> I finally dared to write my first Malec fic (even if it's just a fleshed out headcanon)! Thank you so much to Kathi (kat_writing on twitter) for being my beta <3 Now I'm gonna stop babbling. Enjoy!

 

●●●

 

The loft was quiet at the late hours of the afternoon, but it wasn’t empty.

 

Magnus and Alec were sitting on the couch each doing their own thing. Since Alec had become Head of the Institute and Magnus was no longer the High Warlock, they spent much more time together at the loft. Alec could easily work from there at his laptop while Magnus worked on his potions and managed his thriving business. Maybe being relieved from his responsibilities as the warlock representative had some positive sides to it too but Magnus couldn’t lie. He had loved being the High Warlock and missed it terribly. So, having his friends and Alec by his side supporting him meant everything to him and helped him deal.

 

He smiled softly as he thought about Alec but quickly refocused on work. He had to get this done today.

 

After a while Alec looked up from his laptop and just watched Magnus. Paperwork wasn’t his favourite thing to do so he let himself get distracted quite often. Especially when Magnus was around. Could you blame him though? Magnus was very distracting.

 

He looked beautiful. His usual glittery, eccentric self was subdued when he was at home. He wore barely any make-up and was lounging in comfortable pyjama pants and a dark silk robe. His hair was free of product as he had just showered, and Alec loved that. It meant he could run his hands through Magnus’ soft hair and who wouldn’t want to do that? He must’ve been staring for a while because Magnus spoke up after a while.

 

"Do I have something on my face, dear?" Magnus didn't need to look up to know he was being watched. And Alec often did it when he was supposed to work. Not that he was complaining, not in the least. He loved the attention Alec so willingly gave him.

"Mhm... beauty." Alec laughed at the look he got from Magnus for that. Especially because he stole that line from Magnus himself. Listen, he was just a quick study that’s all. And he might be in love with the reactions it drew from Magnus.

 

Magnus couldn’t help but chuckle too and gave Alec a fond look. Adorable idiot. “What did I do to deserve you?” He barely even realised that he had voiced his thoughts, too lost in admiring the wonderful man sitting next to him.

 

Alec then shook his head smile turning soft and sincere. “Don’t say that. I love you, Magnus." He reached out cupping Magnus’ cheek. His smile widened when Magnus automatically leaned into the touch.

"I love you too, you sap." Magnus leaned in to give his boyfriend a soft kiss and let out a groan as Alec sneakily deepened the kiss. That man was supposed to work!

 

Soon both were too preoccupied to even think about the work they had to get done.

 

●

 

It was a quiet and tranquil night. Or at least that’s how it appeared to mundanes.

 

For the shadowhunters it was another night of fighting and doing their best to keep the unknowing safe and trying to stay alive while doing so.

 

Alec and Magnus were fighting off the rest of the demons on their own because the others were either incapable to do so or needed to get on with the next task.

 

Magnus accompanied the shadowhunters more and more often on missions these days, and Alec didn’t like it. The thought of him getting hurt made Alec sick. Of course, he knew that Magnus could take care of himself, but it didn’t stop him from worrying about the love of his life.

 

Every time they were out fighting, he was reminded of how much Magnus meant to him and how lost he would be without him and thus fought harder than he normally would.

 

If he had Jace with him instead, this would be much easier as he could always feel where and how his parabatai was without needing to look. With Magnus he was always tense and looking for him, he knew he was putting himself in danger with how much he focused on Magnus, but he wasn’t sure he’d stop even if he knew how to.

 

Magnus shot down one demon after the other with his fireballs while Alec used his arrows. The men were sweaty and bloody from their wounds.

 

Magnus pushed aside his exhaustion and worry for Alec to keep them both safe. He knew getting distracted by the shouts and groans of pain coming from behind him could end up making things just worse. He would never forgive himself if he was the reason for Alexander getting hurt.

 

So he fought. Vicious and unforgiving.

 

The adrenalin in his brain kept him from screaming out in pain as a demon got him by the shoulder and instead evaporated that beast with his magic.

 

Finally, after what felt like hours but had probably been mere minutes, they had gotten rid of all the demons and ran to each other to check up and make sure they were okay.

 

Alec hugged Magnus and held him firmly as he buried his face in Magnus’ hair. "I love you." He whispered, voice thick with emotion and tightened his grip on Magnus. He was safe. They were okay.

"I love you too, Alexander." And they just held each other for a moment, needing the assurance that the other was there.

 

Magnus hated this, but he had to accept that this was the life they had to live and if that meant fighting alongside his love to keep him safe, then that was what he was going to do until the end.

 

●

 

Magnus glared at Alec. "So what?! You lied to me? Again?!" He hated fighting with Alec, but this was not something he could let go. Alec _knew_ he couldn’t do this. They agreed not to do this again.

 

"Magnus, it's not like that. You have to understand that I can't just tell you everything all the time even if I want to. I have duties and responsibilities here that I cannot ignore. Not even for you." Why couldn’t Magnus understand that this was nothing personal?! Their first and last fight about something like this had been about the soul sword and that had been different. This time it was nothing that affected Magnus directly. Yes, it affected Raphael but just because the vampire was like a son to Magnus, didn’t give Alec the right to share internal affairs with Magnus. Of course, he would’ve eventually told Magnus but right now they were still processing his case. He wished the former High Warlock would understand that.

 

Magnus scoffed shaking his head. "Whatever. I'm going home." There was no point in keeping up this ridiculous argument. Magnus knew when to pull back. Alec wasn’t going to listen to him anyway and just repeat the same damn thing about rules and laws like they weren’t talking about someone close to Magnus getting banned from the city!

 

"Magnus, don't do this. What about dinner tonight?" He hated when Magnus did this. When he put up his walls and retreated. It hurt. More than he was willing to admit.

 

"I'll cancel the reservation. Goodbye, Alexander." With that Magnus turned around and walked out. He knew better than to use magic when he was this upset and angry. And a stroll through the busy streets of New York might calm the raging emotions within him and clear his head a bit.

 

Alec sighed and ran a hand over his face as Magnus left. He hated fighting with Magnus. He knew that it was normal and that it happened in every kind of relationship but with Magnus… he despised it. It also completely threw him off and made him lose focus for the rest of the day.

 

He had to stay late to finish work because focusing was difficult and… because he dreaded going home to be met with a still angry boyfriend.

 

When Alec finally came home that night, Magnus was already in bed pretending to be asleep. He didn’t feel like fighting and pretending to be asleep seemed to be the best option. He was also too proud to apologize. Call him childish but he was not going to apologize for caring about someone close to him.

 

Alec got ready and quietly slipped into bed next to Magnus. Alec laid on his back and stared at the ceiling but couldn’t stay like that for long and spooned the man who had his back to him and was pretending to be asleep. He could tell when Magnus was faking it. "Hey. Look I'm sorry about earlier. I should've told you. After last time-"

 

"No.. Alec you were right. I overreacted." Magnus sighed and turned around all the anger leaving him instantly. Alec didn’t mean to hurt him. He knew that.

 

Alec began to protest but Magnus cut him off with a soft smile accompanying his words. "Let's just... it's in the past now."

 

Alec sighed and kissed Magnus' cheek. "I love you." Magnus smiled finally feeling relaxed again and leaned up to kiss Alec properly. "I love you too."

 

●

 

Alec was at the institute doing paperwork – again - when he got a call from Magnus. He instantly lit up glad at the distraction from boring work and the distraction being his wonderful boyfriend. "Hey baby, what's up?" He was so happy about hearing from Magnus that he didn’t even notice the pet name slipping out. But of course, Magnus did.

 

"Baby?" Magnus chuckled a teasing smile on his lips. This was too good to just let it go. Alexander never called him by anything other than his name, so this was very new. And exciting. Magnus ignored the surprised and flustered reaction he had at first and instead focused on teasing the fuck out of his boyfriend.

 

"Oh uh." Shit. "I just.. it's.." Alec stumbled over his words trying to explain himself and talk his way out of it. He had never thought the pet names he used in his head for Magnus would slip out like this! What if Magnus hated pet names? What if he was weirded out? Oh no… He blushed and soon it covered his full face – from the tips of his ears down to his neck. This was so embarrassing! But then he registered Magnus’ amused chuckle from the other end and his reeling mind came to an abrupt stop.

 

Oh

 

He was being teased.

 

Alec finally relaxed and chuckled too, even if a little awkwardly, as he realised that Magnus didn't mind. "Why did you call?" But he’d still prefer to change the topic, thank you very much.

 

"I am out shopping and was wondering if you needed anything. Maybe some socks? Yours keep disappearing for some odd reason." Magnus gave in and let Alec change the topic so he could get over with why he even called in the first place. But that was just an excuse, he missed his boyfriend and wanted to hear his voice.

 

"You're right. Thanks, Magnus. And maybe some sweaters? It's getting colder and the old ones are scratchy." He scrunched his nose slightly thinking about the way they irritated his skin. Since he had met Magnus he was much more aware about these things as Magnus always wanted the best for Alec. Especially regarding clothes. Maybe he was a bit spoiled now, but he wouldn’t dare to complain.

 

"What, no 'baby' this time?" Magnus couldn’t help it, the teasing tone returning to his voice.

 

Alec rolled his eyes blushing and groaned hiding his face in his arms. "I'm hanging up now. Bye, Magnus. Love you."

 

"Wait, wait!"

 

"What is it?" Alec asked carefully, lifting his head slightly and narrowing his eyes.

 

"Love you too, baby." Magnus hung up laughing as he heard Alec sputter and imagined a blushing and wide-eyed cutie on the other end.

 

●

 

"You know, it's all about the aim, Alexander." Magnus smirked down at his sweaty boyfriend. They’ve been training for a while now and Magnus couldn’t help but gloat whenever he won. After all, you’d expect the shadowhunter to be able to win every time going up against a now practically mundane ex-warlock. Magnus was less worried about turning mortal than one might expect but Alexander was worried out of his mind about Magnus’ ability – or the lack thereof – to now properly defend himself. But it was clear that Alec had nothing to worry about. Magnus had not been living for centuries without picking up one or two things about self-defence.

 

Alec tapped out and Magnus got up before helping his boyfriend up from the training room floor. Alec looked pleased whenever Magnus was able to hold his own, but he was still competitive. He wouldn’t end the training session on a loss. His pride was at stake here.

 

"Let's go again. Hand to hand this time." Alec said putting away his staff and getting into position pinning Magnus down with a focused look.

 

Magnus smirked hiding how that fierce look made him actually feel. "Are you certain, Shadowhunter?" The tension between them was palpable. He wished they could wrap this up now so they could continue with another sweaty activity.

 

"Yeah. Let's go. Come on." Alec smirked back at the teasing tone in his boyfriend’s voice. Oh, it was on now. He licked his lip and raised his eyebrow challenging Magnus to back out.

 

Magnus huffed. Alec loved to bring out his own competitive side, didn’t he? Not a second after Magnus had disposed of his own staff, he was all up in Alec’s personal space trying to pin him down, but Alec was set on winning this round so it wasn’t an easy task. Magnus gave his all but Alec was overpowering him.

 

So he fought dirty. He had been thinking about making this a bit more fun anyway so what the hell. He pushed up against Alec in just the right way giving his boyfriend his best bedroom eyes. He knew the effect they had on Alec. Magnus could feel Alec’s hard muscles against his own body and pressed even closer. Now he just needed to brush his fingers over that not-so-little bulge down there and…

 

Alec yelped, lost his balance and before he knew it he was on the floor with a grinning Magnus pinning him down.

 

"Hey! That wasn't fair!" Alec complained not caring how whiny he sounded.

 

Magnus feigned ignorance. "I have no idea what you mean."

 

"I don't like you." Alec pouted – which he would obviously deny if ever confronted with.

 

"Liar." Magnus leaned down almost kissing him but not giving in just yet. He was a tease, it was just in his nature.

 

Alec gulped. "Yeah ok." He said breathlessly but not because of the fight. It was so easy to give in… so he did. "I love you. Like a lot. Now kiss me."

 

"Your wish is my command." Magnus happily complied and smiled softly after he pulled away from the kiss. "I love you too. A lot."

 

●

 

It was late.

 

Probably around 3 AM.

 

Magnus sat up in bed sweating and shivering and tried to calm his body down. Nightmares. He couldn’t even remember what they were about. He had a guess though.

 

Ever since he had gone to Edom to visit his father, the nightmares had increased. He was glad that he couldn’t remember most of them, but it was harder to calm himself down when his mind was still confused as to why his body was reacting like this. He reached up to his face to wipe off the cold sweat and ended up wiping off tears too. That was… unusual. He didn’t cry during nightmares. Shout, turn and toss in bed, yes. But cry? It must’ve been a bad one-

 

Magnus gasped as his mind was suddenly attacked by images of his nightmare.

 

_“You love him don’t you, Magnus?” Asmodeus asked smiling dangerously looking down at the shadowhunter at his feet who was unable to move or make a sound._

_“No! Please… don’t do this, father! I’m begging you!” Magnus had tried everything but here they were. He had lost. His father had gotten to Alexander. The one thing he had sworn to protect with his life. But he hadn’t been strong enough._

_“Aw that’s so sweet. But where’s the fun in it if I just gave in?” Asmodeus smirked and slashed through Alec’s neck with his magic, effectively beheading him._

_“Alexander!” Magnus scream of pain echoed through his own head as he fell to the burning ground and scrambled over to Alec’s lifeless body._

_“No. It’s okay, Alexander. I’ve got you.” He mumbled through his sobs and cradled the disembodied head to his chest. “It’s okay. It’ll all be okay. I- I’ll fix you right up, okay? That’s what I’m good at. I- I- I fix things.”_

_He started shaking all over but barely registered it and instead just laid down next to Alec’s body on the flaming ground. There was blood all over and Alec was gone._

_His Alexander was gone. Because of him._

_No. This wasn’t true. It couldn’t be._

_NO!_

 

Next to him Alec stirred and sat up rubbing his eyes. He usually slept through Magnus’ nightmares and night terrors, but he could feel that something was off tonight. "Hey. You okay?"

 

That finally broke Magnus out of those horrible, horrible memories and he blinked a few times to focus. He was about to brush Alec off and tell him that everything was alright but then just closed his eyes and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. He shook his head no and hid his face in his hands as he softly cried.

 

Suddenly a pair of strong arms were wrapped around him and pulled him close in a protective manner. "It's okay. I'm here for you." Alec didn’t know what the nightmares were about as Magnus didn’t like to talk about them, but he could guess. He might not know how to deal with this, but he knew that he could do this, be there for Magnus. He hoped that would be enough for now because he had no idea what else to do.

 

Alexander was here. Next to him. Alive and breathing. Magnus hugged Alec back and buried his face in Alec’s neck and they stayed like that until Magnus was ready to let go.

 

Magnus slowly relaxed into Alexander's hold and they lied back down. Magnus was curled up against Alec, face tucked in his neck and hand over Alec’s beating heart. He could tell that his man was about to fall back asleep soon now that he had calmed down and they were cuddled up like this. Alec might not admit it, but Magnus knew that the best way to make his shadowhunter fall asleep was to cuddle with him.

 

"I love you, Alexander." Magnus whispered like it was a secret in a way hoping nobody could hear him. Hoping that nobody would know and take this away from him.

 

"I love you too, Magnus." Alec said softly before drifting off to sleep.

 

Magnus smiled softly. Maybe Alexander would get hurt because of him. Maybe he would be the reason Alexander dies. But he sure as hell would fight to his dying breath before he’d let anyone touch his love.

 

Magnus might be scared but he was never one to give up. Especially when it came it to a certain Alexander Lightwood-Bane.

 

Magnus fell asleep with his fingers intertwined with Alec’s, the golden band on their fingers reflecting the moonlight that came through the window.

 

●●●

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to yell, hug or give feedback to me on my twitter (rita_MAD) <3


End file.
